My ministry in the Netherlands due to my frequent travels became less. On top of that, we had been quite a bit involved in local church work that several times ended in a split. The Lord stopped me time and again from ´starting my own church.´ I just could not do that. I felt sustained and supported spiritually in the different fellowships where I ministered and received ministry.
Fast forward to the paradigm change in 2010
Early in the morning, Spring 2010, I awoke. There was a voice in my room.
“Téo, you have to become a priest.”
Amazed and a bit shocked I looked around. I thought
“What, a priest, this is impossible, I am 73…”.
I could see in the vague light, the statue of Mary. A friend had given that. Spontaneous I said
“Maria, can you talk about this to Jesus?”
it was as if someone had suddenly knocked me out. For two hours I slept deeply and peacefully. Waking up again I asked Lord what had happened. It might sound a bit strange for some, but at times I have the idea that God talks to me like a friend, giving me words and insights. He brought back two memories that I had heard Him speak so directly.
The first time was in Suriname, in 1960. After completing my military service, I stayed one more year to be involved in Missions. I worked with children in a church in Paramaribo. I usually prayed before going out to try to recruit children to come to Sunday school. The Lord gave me a particular impression:
“stay home someone comes to meet you”.
I continued to pray in preparation of this ´mystery visitor.´ When it was five-
o´clock in ´the afternoon, and nobody had come yet. I said,
“Lord when it is five-thirty, and nobody has come, I will confess to you that I have been misled by the Evil One.”
At five thirty sharp I went on my knees said
“Lord please forgive…”
then a Voice interrupted my prayer. It thundered through my room:
“now I have come…”.
I experienced a tremendous outpouring of grace…. It changed the content and the course of my ministry…
The second time was in Thailand. I was driving on a “through road” having the right of way. I approached a corner of a side street. Suddenly a voice roared through my car:
STOP.
I stood on the brake. Before my eyes, a big truck crossed the intersection. I would have been dead if I hadn´t stopped.
Now this voice talked to me again… Then I remembered the text of our wedding ceremony. The words which Mary spoke to the servants at the wedding in Cana “Do all that He tells you.” That word had guided our thinking ever since when we had made our decision to do just that. The sense of ´it is the Lord´ who called me to be a priest, was clear to me.
My submission to the Lord’s authority was above questioning, but how do I respond to the Pope? I had great admiration for Saint John Paul II. I remember still the tears in my eyes when he, while on a stretcher, waved with his hand goodbye, as he was carried on a bed out of the hall in his last public farewell on TV. I had heard that he regularly went for confession himself. He was a sinner like anyone else. Only in matters of faith, he could have, under some restrictions, have the last word. Jesus had promised that He would guide Peter and his successors. That means that I have to accept his authority together with the Magisterium, the principal leaders of the Vatican.
It took some time of reflection on how to work this all out. I realized that I was too old and not smart enough, to weigh the thousands of decisions made in 2000 years. I decided to accept the authority of the pope as well as the whole dogmatic package of the RC Church. This made it easier to face the next profound question: Was it right for me to ask Mary to talk about me to Jesus? Evangelicals are great in prayer-support. We have always had prayer friends who at times received words from God that proved pivotal in our ministry. I had come to understand that the saints in heaven are watching over us (Hebr. 12:1). They continue to pray – talk to God – about us here below. Mother Mary with her unique position to Jesus, as his mother, plainly can speak to Jesus about our needs, our questions, and our expectations. Sill a lingering question was floating in my mind: “Am I starting to pray to dead people? That would be unbiblical.” I concluded: Mary and the ´cloud of saints´ in heaven who look at us aren´t dead persons, they are very much alive. As I stated before, I worship one God as revealed in three persons, (the Father, Jesus his Son and the Holy Spirit). We can ask Mother Mary and the saints to intercede to God for us. Just like we intercede for people to the Lord in prayer, here on earth.
In the eight years since the above happened, naturally, there have been people who questioned me on this. “why would you need anyone in heaven to pray for you, I pray directly to Jesus, and that is enough.” In Heiligenkreuz I received some helpful answers to my own questions.
“God is a family,” these words of Pope John Paul II have deeply affected also my theological insights.
I have enjoyed the love and intercessional prayer of many believers as I have ministered to broken people. I didn´t say: well you don´t need to do that for me, Jesus prays for me to the Father.
The image of the Church as a family is a beautiful truth. When a husband and wife marry, and children come, the husband doesn´t love his wife less, he even cares more for her and the children. Love grows as the family grows. When we ask someone in heaven to pray for us, this doesn´t diminish the role of Jesus. He is still our Savior and Lord. I sense that my perspective of what Jesus did for us has been greatly enlarged. The part of Mary in this is fantastic. She is much more than a typical mother. She had to be unique, and God had planned this for her. Even Luther, Calvin and Zwingli agreed about that.. The unique position of Mary is also stressed in the Catholic thinking as the Holy Spirit not only made that Jesus was born through her, she was the Woman who God had promised in Genesis 3:15 as well as described in Revelation 12.
With the issue of the Pope and Mother Mary settled for me, I realized that there was still quite a difference with my wife on these issues. I decided not to talk to her or anyone else about my paradigm shift, but to wait for what the Lord would do.
A few months later, in April 2010, I was teaching in the French branch of our ISARPAC school in Switzerland about Restoring Sexuality according to God´s Plan, for the 4th year students. Just before I went into the classroom, I checked my mail. I received an email from my wife, encouraging me to become a Roman Catholic! I had already a scheduled course “Helping through Blessing” in Austria right after the teaching in Switzerland. I made an appointment with Bishop Küng. He was surprised but reacted very favorable about my request to become Catholic. We set a date for my confirmation. I returned home happy and hopeful.
The big blow
Then came the big blow. I can´t say much about this. I realize that people might want to know more about this, but it is still too personal and too painful. My wife told me: “Now I want a divorce…”. I was literally dumbfounded and reacted with my trauma-based-stoic silence. Naturally, I couldn´t cooperate with her desire for a divorce. She insisted, and it became a separation of ´table and bed.´ In time she was able to arrange a divorce, again without my cooperation.
There I was, age 74, I decided to become a Roman Catholic, and my wife left me… I had already talked with the Bishop about me becoming a priest. He had brought it in the Bishops Conference, and with the support of Cardinal Schönborn plus a positive reaction from Rome, he sends me to the Priest Seminary Leopoldinum of the Monastery of Heiligenkreuz.
