The celebration of the daily early morning Mass was awesome. I had attended mass already for more than 10 years, but to have to be a participant in the ceremony is still something different. Nearly all where cradle – Catholics. They had served as young altar boys in the Mass in their local church. For them, the prayers were so normal that they even didn´t have to think about it anymore. For me, it was an intensive experience. The Celebrating Priest would hold the ´bread and wine´ up before the Lord. The prayer that changes ´bread and wine´ in the flesh and blood of Jesus is the highpoint of the service. At the same time, I had to watch many small details when to do what and how to do that…. With the gentle help of my fellow students, I got used to the daily rituals. The director of the Seminary, Dr. Lässer is a very inspiring person, with a ´late calling´ himself as well. He was first a Management Consultant and told us about the remarkable way the Lord had led him into the priesthood.

I had in the years past wondered if I had not become ´addicted to helping´. These fears proved to be ungrounded, I didn´t miss counseling at all. Now I had entered a time of “retooling”. All of my fellow students felt a call of the Lord to be a celibate priest. Some struggled with that issue though. I didn´t sense a need to step in and help. Others were there to do that.  There were only two counseling type situations as a result of specific prayer requests of seminarians, in the two years of my time in Seminary.

I loved the studies. It was actually fun to have to take a singing course in order to be able when needed, to sing in parts of the Mass. After two years and passing about 30 exams in mostly Theological subjects, I was ready for the Ordination to become a Deacon. It took place on September 22, 2013, in the majestic Cloister in Melk. All four daughters and most of the eight grandchildren were witnessing the moving service. The moment that the Bishop laid hands on me is carved in my mind. I still wonder how ten seconds of a silent prayer, can last so long, with so much happening. In my mind I saw Jesus, laying hands on the apostles, giving St. Peter the authority to lead the Church. He gave that authority to the one who followed him. It was alike a big hand moved through the centuries, every time another one received this authority down the ages. Until it reached bishop Küng and finally I received the authority to be a Deacon in the RC Church. In those 10 seconds, it was as if Jesus Himself laid hands on me…

To become a priest is impossible, as my wife left me. I started to work in Tulln a/d Donau in the St. Stephan Church, as a permanent deacon. Together with two priests, we had every morning our prayer time before the 08.00 Mass. These moments have had a great impression on me, as we sang and worshipped the Lord and prayed our prayers according to the Brevier. That was a whole new experience for me. I have learned to enjoy the Psalms much more than before.

In addition to the daily Mass, I was involved in counseling, perhaps one or two from the church-family per week. Quite a few people came from outside as they asked for help as they were referred to me, either by other priests or through the hundreds of students who attended our Helping through Blessing courses. Others once attended a course themselves and want to go deeper into their situation, trying to change their behavior as they follow Jesus.

I arranged that I would be half-time in the local church and the other half I could go ´anywhere in the world´. I have been actively involved in teaching in the different ISARPAC Summer schools.  August 2015 was the last time that I went to Kolding (DK) as a teacher, as I resigned from the Board and gave up my teaching/counseling role. Others have taken over that what I taught and it is beautiful to see how well they do.

Together with Marlis Resch, my Austrian co-worker and other volunteers we organized 4 or 5 courses per year in Austria and Germany. I also went three times to the USA. The main topic in my teaching is again and again: “the Peace of God which protect our hearts and minds, as we share our needs and with prayer and thanksgiving to God” (Philip. 4: 6-8). What actually is that Powerful Peace?  Why is Powerful Peace so important for trauma survivors? How can the body be cleansed from the ugly trauma´s? Does this cleansing erase the memories? How can persistent behavioral patterns be changed in new habits, even new automatic patterns? This I will discuss in Part 2.

“Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name”