My Story – Chapter 5
Chapter 5: Missionaries
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Fast forward to 1963
I met in the Bible school “De Herdershof” in Heerde, my bride to be. After our wedding, Wil and I were accepted by the USA based mission organization the Christian and Missionary Alliance (C. & M. A.) as missionaries to Thailand. With our one-year-old daughter, we went on a freighter with passenger accommodation. Five weeks later we arrived on the 5th of December 1963. After two years of language study, we were assigned to take care of about 15 leprosy clinics annex churches in the province of Ubonrachetani in North East Thailand. This meant that I would be away from home for about one week per month. I became known for my counseling skills, and the Thai responded well. Other missions had invited me to share about my approach to the Thai.
The Interdenominational Charismatic Missionary Conference Bangkok 1972 was a highlight in my ministry. About 200 missionaries had signed up. They asked me to speak on emotional healing. I still remember saying:
“emotional healing: what is that?”
They gave me a book about it. This opened a floodgate of tears. I cried through my life´s history. The story of the soldier with the gun above my ear dominated the scene. This is the first time in my life that I cried about me. (I had no problem to cry or to laugh when it concerned someone else).
I told the Lord that I realized that I had to forgive that soldier and I made a wills decision to do that. I also said:
“I don´t know how to do this from my heart.”
The Lord agreed, it was as if He said:
“That is right Téo, you can´t forgive this, I am the only one who can do that, and I want to teach you how to forgive from the heart, come into the “school of forgiving.” When that is sometimes still too difficult to sit in class, you can play on the playgrounds. When I know you are ready, I will call you to come inside again”.
For me ´the school of forgiving´ lasted 12 years. In 1984, as I went to a communion service, I once again thought about this soldier. I thought
“he must be 80 now, or he is dead…”.
Then the thought arose
“I hope I will meet him before the throne of Jesus… “.
I was first shocked by this image, but then the Hallelujah’s raised up in me.
“Now I know how to forgive from the heart….”.
The idea of “The School of Forgiving” has helped me so much as abuse survivors have tremendous problems to forgive their abusers. Many think that forgiving means that you can´t be angry anymore. The memories can be so painful that it is too hard to face. When it is at times too hard to endure the lessons, they can “go to the playgrounds and play, until the Lord calls them in again.”
In 1974 we attended a meeting with Loren Cunningham, the founder of Youth With A Mission (YWAM). One brother said,
“Téo, I have the impression that God is saying that He has given you an Open Door that no one can close.”
On my way home, I went to the mailbox at the post office and found a letter of Brother Andrew, the founder of Open Doors International. He urged me to come back and help him. We considered that for a time and then prepared for the return to the Netherlands.
