Chapter 14: Introducing the topic of abuse in Egypt
I was invited to Egypt 15 years ago. As they knew of my ministry with sexually abused people they asked me right away not to speak about incest. They told me: “that doesn´t happen here”. The next year I got another invitation and they encouraged me to talk about dysfunctional families. The third year the newspapers had just published a story of a father who raped his 3-month-old daughter and she bled to death. Everywhere people started to talk about what they knew what had happened to someone. In Upper-Egypt the number of sexually abused girls was about 75%. In addition, there is for many of the seven or eight-year-old girls the terrible experience of Female Circumcision.
When I asked a Medical Doctor from Upper Egypt about possible Sexual Abuse of boys, she said that this was so customary that it was in Upper Egypt about 100%. (Usually, the perpetrators were older boys). The MD added, “I have a daughter and I could until now prevent anyone touching her inappropriately, I have a son, with him it happened as well, but as he isn´t a girl, so it is not that bad”…
The public reactions to this tragic story of the three-month-old-babies death awakened the Church into action. Members of the Coptic Church and of various evangelical oriented churches approached their leadership and with their encouragement, they started Mesarpac (Middle East School of Abuse-Related Pastoral Counseling). At the beginning of December 2018, they celebrated their ten-year existence and they invited me to come again. (They also suggested that I take a business class seat on the airplane😊, which I gladly did). The training is now divided, like in Denmark in two levels: the pastoral counseling level and the Danish accreditation possibility to become a psychotherapist. Dr. Vibeke Möller and Dr. Marian Bridget Connoly are the two leaders who took over my responsibility. The training is named in Egypt Pearl. It has great value in Egypt as there were hardly any Christian psychotherapists. Many people have had rather traumatic experiences. On top of this, they battle with vague guilt feelings, hanging as a grey wet-blanket over their lives.
Facing vague guilt feelings
Everywhere there are people bothered by vague guilt feelings. Not that they have done something wrong, it is more a sense they are wrong. However they look at themselves, there is always that vague feeling of being guilty. Naturally, when they had done something against what God has stated in His Word, they knew what to do, they asked forgiveness and try to amend their acts. If they felt they would need it, they could also go to a priest and confess it, then they had something tangible: “Someone with authority said: I am forgiven” This is not only so in Austria, but also in Egypt. The vague guilt feelings are a well of frustration. I have used the explanation that their brains and bodies are programmed to feel guilty. They can´t see reality anymore. As it takes at least three months to learn a new habit, I have suggested in the past to take a 3 months vacation-of-vague-guilt-feelings. Lately, I have suggested up to 6 months, as three months looks, from the feedback I received too short…Encouraged with a new, fresh faith in the Forgiving Power of our Lord, they then can face vague guilt feelings. How? Not by denying the guilt-feelings or suppressing them, They have to make a wills decision to deliberately push them aside in their mind. To focus on the love of Jesus, to straighten literally their backs and live in an atmosphere of Gratefulness to the Lord (Philip.4:6-9) as He takes our needs and concerns on His shoulders, covering and protecting the thoughts and feelings with His peace.
One of my Roman Catholic friends wrote to me:
Since we had our last meeting, I tried to feel not guilty and to give all my bad conscience to the cross of our Lord. First I felt more guilty than before because I realized much more my situation. Plenty of thoughts with situations where I felt `guilty` run in my mind all the time. I was afraid on the one side, on the other side I was grateful that you gave me the hint to start this way of healing.
So, thanks so much for your advice and prayer. You talked about 3 months for my healing time, I suppose, I need more because the first 3-4 weeks I was busy to realize my situation and now I start to free myself from my bad conscience into a better way.
Another friend from Iceland wrote me:
I am still on the guilt holidays as you requested and to be honest with you; it is one of the best time of my life 😊
The same reports I got in Egypt! Thank God that He teaches us to walk in freedom.
“There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Rom. 8:1
